My dad died last week (27/09/2020).
It wasn’t totally unexpected, he would have become 93 years old three weeks later.
However, he might have died a ‘happier chap’ had the Corona Virus not hit the world earlier this year. As I’ve said before, dad had struggled with the changes brought about by lockdown. I honestly think that his main source of grief was not being able to see my mum (she has Alzheimer’s). Until lockdown he’d visited her in the care home twice a week.
Now that he has died I have come across his diary, which formerly he had filled in daily.
As the virus spread across the country, his entries gradually became a record of the daily figures for those who died with Covid-19. He also continued to record, as he always did, the daily Financial Times figures. He was a long-time investor in stocks and shares and as such the value of those shares and his subsequent income was keenly watched. As one figure was seen to rise, the other dropped.
Example #1 22/01/20 Bright sunny day v/mild. Collect glasses. Carpet being fitted this PM. Attended foot clinic. Shopped at Sainsburys. Home for lunch. Ham & Cheese sandwich. Carpet fitted. F/T 7589 Noon.
Example #2 07/02/20 Frosty v/cold. Went to see Olwyn. Much more animated today, asking all relevant questions claiming that nobody told her! She was in bed when I got there! Finally convinced her it was morning and not afternoon. I helped her dress herself. F/T 7504 Noon.
Example #3 18/02/20 Rain/cold. Went to see Olwyn. Cold, she got in to bed and I left her fast asleep. Lunch = boiled egg sandwich. Tea = omelette and sausage. F/T 7365 NOON.
Then, 24th February – 9th March – Corona Virus is mentioned every day and not much else. Then much the same through March and April. On 4th May he stated recording deaths (204, 366, 331, 539, 626, 346) alongside his F/T recordings (07/05/20 F/T 5914). All entries stopped on 25th May. He went into hospital on 27th May after an attempt to take his own life.
He spent the last three months of his life in the same care home as mum where he was able to see her frequently. They were also able to spend their 70th Wedding Anniversary together, which was nice. The staff and management of the home facilitated a great party for them – although his family were not able to join in (we haven’t been able to see mum since the beginning of March and I haven’t seen dad since the day he went into hospital).
In the end, dad deteriorated quickly and died of complicated heart problems.
Of necessity, (Local Rules: https://www.kirklees.gov.uk/beta/deaths-funerals-and-memorials/covid19-bereavement-service-changes.aspx) the funeral will be a small private affair with only myself, my brother Peter and his wife Linda and six grandchildren being able to attend. My other brother Andrew lives in Western Australia and is unable to attend right now. Hopefully, we will be able to reflect briefly upon my dad’s life at this time and celebrate it more fully when we can all get together again at some time in the future.
Should anyone wish to make a donation in memory of my dad – please see below.
Preferred Charity
https://www.thecalmzone.net/donate/in-memory
Other mental health charities
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/
Saturday Walks 